Please enjoy this excerpt from Manage Your Mission – Living wisely and abundantly for today and eternity. This book will help craft your life mission, establish its priorities, and succeed in each area: Faith – Family – Fitness – Field – Friends – Fun – Finances.
Introduction
What is your mission in life, and how well are you managing it? Does it address all the significant areas of life, both now and for eternity? Do you have a plan to be successful?
Whether you realize it or not, you are on a mission in life. This book will help craft your mission, establish priorities for its elements, and achieve success in each area. With a bit of thought, you can change the trajectory of your life and position yourself for successful and abundant living in light of eternity.
When I entered my sophomore year of college, I volunteered to return to school a week early to help the first-year students move in. It was pure altruism, of course, because as a 19-year-old guy, I never would have done something like that just to meet girls, right? Years later, I realized it was the only girl-meeting scheme that ever worked for me because that week, I met and started dating the woman who ended up being my wife of 37 years and counting.
Manage Your Mission, and the simple “7F” model I coined to help track it, is like that. After several decades of using this, I realized how spectacularly it worked. So now I want to share it with others to help them. My goal is to honor God and love my neighbor by sharing truths to help them live better and to know and serve God better.
I thought about writing this years ago but realized it would be more impactful if I waited until closer to the end of the story. (Does anyone want a young life coach with an untested philosophy?) But this empty-nest stage seemed the perfect time to reflect on it all. Christian books by theologically sound pastors and theologians are important. Still, when I was young, I thought pastors were the “religious” people while the rest of us were on a completely different level. I think it is helpful for laypeople to hear from other laypeople and realize that all Christians are gifted citizens of the Kingdom of God, and as such, there are important things we should be doing. Also, God’s way of living is the best way, and it pays off in the long run in all facets of life.
I crafted this approach in the mid-nineties when my life was extremely busy: married, two young kids, a good but very demanding job at Compaq Computer in the middle of the PC Boom/Internet Revolution, reading the Bible daily, becoming more involved at church, working out regularly, playing in a volleyball league, and more. I wanted to think carefully about my priorities. I had seen many people mismanage their priorities and destroy marriages, relationships with children, and their physical and spiritual health. I didn’t want that to happen to me. As I’ve often told my teams at work, all your money and success can’t buy your kids a second childhood, and it is a bad idea to sacrifice your health to make money to spend your money and time trying to fix your health.
I spent a lot of time thinking about how important it was to keep all these things in perspective. How could I be sure to let my faith undergird everything while maintaining a great marriage, being very intentional about raising children, advancing my career, maintaining my health, and more? Was it even possible? Spoiler alert: Yes, it was. But it took planning, focus, and intentionality. That doesn’t mean there weren’t trade-offs and sacrifices, and it doesn’t mean I didn’t make mistakes. But I’ve succeeded in all the areas below and couldn’t be more grateful for how things turned out. I’ll suppress the desire to mention this on every page, but it is all by the grace of God. These biblical principles and the foundation of faith in Christ led to success in each area of my life: a vibrant and active faith, a great marriage and family relationships, kids who married well and are committed Christians as adults, a consistently fit and active lifestyle, a successful career in which I didn’t have to sacrifice my principles and had a great work/life balance, plenty of good friends and fun times, and well-managed finances where we’ve hit all of our goals and are easing towards a great retirement.
And to be clear, this isn’t the vile and false “health and wealth” prosperity gospel. I’ve had trials, failures, and illnesses, but the Christian principles got me through them much better than I would have otherwise. The trials and failures are from living in a fallen world or due to my sins. But the successes were all grounded in biblical living.
The model I used to analyze and track my priorities is what I call the 7 Fs:
- Faith
- Family
- Fitness
- Field (or vocation — any work or main activity along with the education to prepare for it)
- Friends
- Fun (entertainment and hobbies)
- Finances
I started making simple one-page annual plans with goals for each area. Then, I would revisit them periodically to see how I was doing. Eventually, it became so ingrained that I would reflexively run things through the 7F “filter” without thinking about it.
Whether intentional or not, you constantly set priorities and live with your previous priorities’ good and bad consequences. If you made mistakes in the past, learn from them, make amends or corrections as necessary, and then let them go. But be deliberate about how you are setting priorities now. And if you are a Christian, your faith should impact every facet of your life.
These overlap in many places. For example, you can have plenty of fun with your faith, family, and fitness priorities. And faith and finances are tied to every category.
The idea is to be intentional and keep the right priorities over the long term. Work is significant, but not so much that I would sacrifice my family or health. The Bible doesn’t teach what job I should seek other than using wisdom, but it does say what kind of employee I should be. Apart from a few brief and clear rules, it doesn’t say whom I should marry but teaches what kind of husband I should be. There may always be reasonable work sacrifices in the short term: travel, late nights, and general work-related stresses. But if those late nights were required year-round, or if I was commanded to do unethical things, I would have been looking for a new job.
Whether conscious of them or not, you constantly act based on your life priorities, which profoundly impact you and those around you. The question is whether you are intentional and effective about your priorities. This book is written for anyone, though it sees life through an unapologetic Christian lens. As a believer, your faith should drive everything you do — Family, Fitness, Field (vocation), Friends, Fun (entertainment and hobbies), and Finances. But what if you aren’t a Christian? Non-believers can also benefit significantly from the wisdom of the Bible. The advice is largely universal and timeless. The Bible has much to say about wise and practical living. And the non-religious advice applies to all as well. I’ve had non-Christian friends embrace this model and use it successfully for years. We all reap what we sow. And I pray that as non-believers consider these truths, God may grant them repentance, leading to a knowledge of the truth. Of course, the overall approach here is gospel-focused. Wouldn’t you want to share it if you knew the only true way to peace with God and eternal life? But I still think there is a lot of good advice for you whether you convert or not, and I hope to give you some solid reasons to investigate Christianity further. At a minimum, you may better understand that with which you disagree.
Can you control everything? Of course not. My wife suffered through five miscarriages. I was diagnosed with severe cancer cases four times (I’m in the middle of some intense treatments for the latest bout as I finish this). We’ve had mental health issues in our extended family. And so on, just like every family experiences. But we controlled what we could and were relentless about our priorities.
What if you are farther along and realize you’ve made bad decisions? While there is no situation so bad that pouring on some guilt can’t make it worse, this is not about making you feel guilty for past decisions. We’ve all made decisions we regret. But wisdom dictates that we learn from them, warn others where we can, and then move on. Even if you chose poorly at times, there is still time to improve things and make amends. And think about those you influence: children, friends, co-workers, neighbors, etc. Helping them set proper priorities and make good decisions is one of the most important things you can do. For example, you may not need advice on seeking a spouse, but you will influence many who do.
I shared the 7 Fs concept at a team-building exercise once, and a young lawyer who recently had a child said, with a somewhat stunned look, “I only focus on two of those!” I clarified that the system was not a judgment but a carefully considered model. For example, if you are sacrificing your health for your career, be honest with yourself and note what you are doing. Lying is wrong, but lying to yourself is extra foolish.
So the key is to manage your mission. If part of your mission is to play video games 6 hours per day during your 20s, write that down. Own it. But if your mission is broader, you may want to reconsider whether that activity will lead to success. As I’ll address in the Fun section, there is nothing wrong with some entertainment, provided that it doesn’t become a barrier to victory in the other categories. But as I’ll cover in the Field section, the investments you make in skills in your early years will pay off handsomely for decades, just as putting even small amounts in a retirement account when you are young can lead to a much more prosperous retirement later.
As a Christian, I have found this model to be a great “faith flag” — bringing up your faith in conversations without it being awkward or stilted. It is often hard for people to bring up their faith, especially at work, but if you are actively Managing Your Mission and thinking through the 7 Fs, it is easy to share with others when talking about life and career advice. You will naturally be able to talk about your faith and how that impacts your priorities.
The book’s structure addresses some basic things like decision making and God’s will because they are crucial to wise living regardless of the area you are dealing with, and then addresses each “F” in turn, starting with Faith. For each category, I’ll cover why it is important, how you can make wise decisions, and offer various tips for successful living. Suggested resources are at the back of the book.
This model is a framework for your mission and a challenge to take it seriously and strive to learn and grow. I realized that some of this advice might seem more secular than theological, but I put it in the wisdom category. God wired us and the world precisely, so your outcomes will be better if you do things in specific ways. My main hope for every person I know is that they will become Christians, but even if they don’t — or until they do — I still want them to live as best they can for themselves and their families and friends. It is a basic love-your-neighbor approach.
I deliberately wrote this with a broad appeal so that anyone could benefit from it: young, old, male, female, any background or job, any race, etc. Aside from some current-day examples from which you can extract broad principles, the model could be used by anyone, anywhere, at any time. It is always a good time to order your life wisely, put God first, love your family, take care of your health, manage your money well, etc. This model and these tips can help you in this life and for eternity.
Most people appreciate a challenge. What sports team ever won a championship because the coach pampered them? But I do not want to lay on unnecessary burdens. The point is to give you a framework for freedom and joy in Christ, not unrealistic goals. Don’t feel like you have to do something big and new. A loving parent, spouse, and employee committed to following Jesus can truly honor God.
As you read this, think of what goals you want to set for yourself in each area. I encourage you to keep it simple, especially in the beginning. Small changes can make a huge difference over time. God is sovereign, and Jesus did all the important work for us. Live in light of that.
Copyright 2022
Eternity Matters 