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Favorites, Sexuality

“Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die.”

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The title is a memorable line from the movie Mean Girls, where the gym coach is teaching sex education (see the video below).  Whether by design or not, it demonstrated the ineffectiveness of both extremes of teaching kids about an extremely important topic.

Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die.  Don’t have sex in the missionary position, don’t have sex standing up . . . Just don’t do it, promise?  OK, everybody take some rubbers.

I like how it skewered both ends of the spectrum.  Repeating the Nike hybrid of  Just (Don’t) Do It won’t be effective without some guidelines on avoiding temptation and more, and passing out condoms like that is an implicit and explicit message that you expect kids to have sex outside of marriage (in addition to giving them a false sense of security).

Of course I endorse chastity and the abstinence of any sex acts outside of marriage as the ideal for everyone.  It is the only proven way to avoid pregnancy, disease, and emotional damage (and, if you are one of those religious types, the only way to obey God).

Ephesians 5:3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.

They should also emphasize the most recent statistics demonstrating that those who finish high school and don’t have sex outside of marriage are extremely unlikely to end up poor, whereas if you do the opposite you are very likely to be poor.

They should teach girls the lines that guys often use and how to respond to them, for example:

  • Male: If you loved me you’d have sex with me.
  • Female: If you loved me you wouldn’t pressure me to have sex with you.

They should teach guys the lines girls use as well.  I know of one young man whose girlfriend recently broke up with him because he wouldn’t have sex with her.

But the abstinence / chastity message should include simple but effective ways to avoid temptation.  Too many people have good intentions but put themselves in situations that inevitably lead to compromise.

They should also coach you on how much your actions regarding sex are influenced by:

  • What you view
  • What you think about
  • Who you spend alone time with

Contrary to stereotypes, I have no issue with schools teaching a balanced sex education program, provided it is thorough and fact-based.  Birth control options are real and it is acceptable to discuss them, provided the whole story is told and the schools don’t distribute the condoms or other birth control themselves and don’t facilitate the abortion process.

For example, truly comprehensive sex education should teach the following regarding birth control pills:

  • They are X% effective at preventing pregnancies (but the data must be given for different demographic groups, because discipline and effectiveness tends to be lower for younger and poorer women).
  • They offer zero protection against STDs
  • They offer zero protection against emotional issues
  • There are possible side effects

More considerations and possible elements of a truly comprehensive sex education program:

  • Surveys demonstrate that married couples have the most satisfying sex lives.
  • It is absolutely ridiculous for schools to dispense birth control.  It sends the implicit and explicit message that you expect kids to have sex and that the adults say you should use birth control.  Guess which message they will listen to and which one they will ignore?
  • Hey parents, how about supervising your kids?  Giving kids unrestricted time alone with the opposite sex is virtually guaranteed to turn out badly.
  • Teach the truth about the “hookup” culture, where kids barely know each other and have sex.  Girls participating in “hookups” are basically acting like free prostitutes.  They have all the risks of pregnancy, disease, crushed self esteem, etc., but they aren’t making any money!  Somehow they convinced themselves that they are proving their equality by acting like guys do.  And of course there is the associated drug and alcohol abuse required to numb their minds to what they are doing.  Sad.
  • How Sex is Like Duct Tape (great illustration about chemicals, bonding and the pain of out-of-wedlock sex)

And of course, Christians can teach their children about God’s plan for sex and how great it is when used as designed.

The primary problem isn’t what one class teaches in one part of its curriculum in high school.  Whether  you use the falsely titled “comprehensive” Planned Parenthood type curriculum or that of the abstinence groups, the whole thing is doomed to fail if kids aren’t supervised, aren’t equipped to say no, aren’t given support by parents and just wallow in the sewer of our sex-obsessed culture. 

All of the evils of Planned Parenthood-style sex education are brought to you by the “Christian” Left, mocking God and his word since their inception.  Churchgoers who support “same-sex marriage” have nearly identical views to the world. It shows who their real father is.

1 John 2:15-16 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world.

Jude 4 For certain people have crept in unnoticed who long ago were designated for this condemnation, ungodly people, who pervert the grace of our God into sensuality and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ.

When I pointed out problems of sex ed on one post I got this answer in reply:

The problem is that people screw.

My reply to him:

How Zen-like ;-).

Yes, and people steal.  And lie.  And don’t study in school.  And do drugs.  And drink alcohol and drive.

So do we give up educating them that abstaining from these and other behaviors would be wise?

Do we let them escape from consequences when they do the behaviors?

Do we just focus on making is safer to do these things?  “If you are going to drink and drive, be sure to have an air bag in the car.”

Fortunately, one commenter saw the light:

I think his point was that no matter the sex ed, the rest of culture undoes it.

That sums it up nicely.

Politics, Pro-life

Quote of the day about the Planned Parenthood website

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I’m pretty sure that’s where Satan lives.

Source: My favorite blogger

Seriously, some sites are so evil you can feel it.  Go check out their Teenwire site where they actively encourage teens to do whatever they like, without consulting parents or their religion.

Side note: I’ve yet to come across a single pro-Planned Parenthood “pastor” who wasn’t a false teacher.

Christian worldview

A great list of reasons for home schooling

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See the entire list at Encouragements From the Piper’s Wife: The Beauty of Home Education.  I would add that is also gave my daughter great time management skills.  She learned how to plan and prioritize and doesn’t need a bell going off every 50 minutes to tell her what to do.  The transition to college will be smooth.  I just wish we had started earlier and done it with both girls.

Gym class: no stress

Extracurricular activities: use your imagination; the sky is the limit!

Calmness at home: worth more than pure gold

Father’s work schedule: schooling and family time can make a better fit

No deprograming time: you will notice the difference!

Spending as much time as possible on what counts

Great field trips to interesting places anytime of the year

. . .

The family pet sits with you while you do your work

My daughter loved having the dogs hang out with her all day!

. . .

No government indoctrination

That one gets more important every year.

Vacations anytime of the year

. . .

Go read ’em all!

If you haven’t considered home schooling I encourage you to give it some thought.  Even just doing it for a couple years made a big difference.  It was really more of “flexible schooling” for us, as she took some classes at a local home school group (sort of like private school with very small classes), some online courses with Texas Tech and some dual credit classes at the local junior college (very inexpensive and it gave her a semester head start in college).

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Duggar kids, free indeed – very interesting read about someone who spent a few days with this rather large family.  Are the kids missing out?  Doesn’t seem like it.

While, admittedly, I admire the Duggars for much of what they do, I didn’t expect what I saw in these 3 girls.  The world has yet to beat them into submission.  They don’t watch the Disney Channel, so they’ve yet to learn that adults are buffoons and parents are embarrassing.  They don’t listen to the local rock station, so they’ve yet do discover life is supposed to be one promiscuous event followed by another.  They don’t attend public school, so they’ve yet to learn teenage girls are required to be filled with angst and riddled with insecurities.

As we spoke to the 3 of them, one word kept jumping out at me:  Freedom.  These girls were experiencing freedom teenagers rarely taste.  Completely free to be themselves.  The exact opposite of the words so often used by media folk to describe the 19 kids.

While many times teenagers can’t wait to get away from adults, these 3 were anxious to engage in conversation.  And they were delightful. All of the Duggars were.

And here’s another thing that springs from the Duggar house throughout the day:  Humor.  The TLC show captures some of that, but I was surprised by the amount of laughter and joking in that home.

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Liberals make a concession speech in NY Times editorial — Turns out They really do want socialism.  I’m sure they’ll be apologizing for accusing us of accusing them of being socialists, because it turned out we were right.  They complain because the Left hasn’t produced a woman like Sarah Palin:

The left should be outraged and exasperated by all this — but at their own failings as much as Ms. Palin’s ascension. Since the 2008 election, progressive leaders have done little to address the obvious national appetite for female leadership. And despite (or because of) their continuing obsession with Ms. Palin, they have done nothing to stop an anti-choice, pro-abstinence, socialist-bashing Tea Party enthusiast from becoming the 21st century symbol of American women in politics.

Note the things that outrage them:

1. Pro-life – as if having the right to crush and dismember your unborn children somehow proves equality with men.  Oh, and do they know that nearly all gender selection abortions are done to destroy female human beings for the sole reason that they are female human beings?  Abortion is the ultimate misogyny.

2. Abstinence – Sadly, they’ve been conditioned to believe that the rampant STDs, single parenting, abortion trauma, emotional carnage and more that fall on women from the sexual revolution have some sort of offsetting benefits.

3. Anti-socialism — They admit that they want socialism.

Thanks for the concession speech!

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Democrats got 88% of 2008 contributions from mainstream media — not a surprise, just a friendly reminder:

And that’s why the mainstream news channels cannot be trusted.

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Bring back the spending excesses of Nancy Reagan’s china! — Wow, the MSM is all over the Obamas about this!  Oh wait, no they aren’t.  See the previous link.

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I’m blessed with a high metabolism so I don’t give a lot of eating tips, but one obvious element of a proper diet is portion control.  Here are 29 tips for that.  This should be so obvious: What makes people think that they can do far less physical movements than people do on the rest of the planet and have done historically and consume larger portions?  My wife and I typically split restaurant meals and sometimes still have leftovers.  Just move a little more and eat a little less.

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See False teacher Chuck Currie outdoes himself and Can Chuck Currie and the NCC get even one Bible passage right? — from my other blog.  Chuck “Jesus is not the only way” Currie needs to do more homework when doing his hypocritical race-baiting.

Chuck’s eagerness to race-bait trips him up and exposes his rank hypocrisy.  He isn’t interested in reconciliation, he’s interested in polarizing people and personal attacks.  He isn’t “confronting racism,” he is perpetuating it.  That’s what race-baiters like Chuck do.

I’ll give away the ending here: The man Chuck is calling a racist is D.L. Foster, a black pastor and a friend of mine I know well through blogging and Facebook.  Pastor Foster is a real man of God, unlike Chuck who is a proven serial liar and false teacher.

Yeah, Chuck, Pastor Foster is racist against black people.  Be sure to go tell his congregation.  I imagine they’ll be mighty surprised!

Once caught and informed that Pastor Foster is black, Chuck doubled down and continued to insist that Foster “attacks gays and African-Americans.”  I’d love to see Chuck debate Pastor Foster and convince the audience that this formerly gay and currently black pastor attacks gays and blacks.

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There is truly no reason for Super Glue to come in anything but single use containers.

 

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Gov Christie to Teacher’s Union: ‘You Punch Them, I’ll Punch You’ — I really, really like NJ Governor Christie.  We need more plain talk and common sense. 

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Monday Sarcasm and Smorgasbord — great roundup by Roxanne.  A sample:

According to the Washington Post, interfaith marriages don’t do very well.  In fact, people in interfaith marriages are three times as likely to divorce as people in same-faith  marriages.

That one should be in the “duh” category, but I suppose it is news to a postmodern “truth is relative” culture.  What could be more central to one’s view of the world than their beliefs about God?  Christians are specifically commanded not to marry non-believers.  And what an awful message  these marriages send to kids: “We find ways to agree on where to live, how to raise you, what jobs to have, vacations, etc., but God is so unimportant that we saw no reason to agree about him.”

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The first of three from the Wintery Knight (I should just redirect my blog to his) — New study compares donor-conceived vs biologically-conceived children

Which group is faring the worst? The 100 percent wanted, planned, intended group. The donor offspring, overall, even with controls, are twice as likely to have struggled with substance abuse and delinquency, and 1.5 times as likely to have struggled with depression, compared to those raised by their biological parents (and these differences are significant). The adopted generally fall in between except with regard to depression in which case they were higher than both the donor conceived and the raised-by-biological.

Forty-five percent of these young adults conceived by donor insemination agree, “The circumstances of my conception bother me.” Almost half report that they think about their donor conception a few times a week or more. Forty-five percent agree, “It bothers me that money was exchanged in order to conceive me.”

Nearly half of donor offspring (compared to about a fifth of adopted adults) agree, “When I see friends with their biological fathers and mothers, it makes me feel sad.” Similarly, 53 percent (compared to 29 percent of adoptees) agree, “It hurts when I hear other people talk about their genealogical background.”

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Who is really responsible for the abolition of marriage? Men or feminists? – good distinction between “equity feminists” and “gender feminists.”

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The Wintery Knight asks, Why do secularists think their view should be privileged in debates?

My thoughts: In addition, the "secular only" argument fails because:

1. That pesky 1st Amendment thingy, which explicitly protects, not restricts, our rights to have our religious views inform our political views.

2. The illogical conclusion that we should vote the opposite of our religious views.  I think my religion forbids me to ask the government to put atheists in jail and take their stuff.  Must I vote the opposite of that?

3. Do the secularists complain about the theological Left and their support for unrestricted abortion, open borders, legal recognition of same-sex unions, universal health care, etc.?  Do they hyperventilate about the President’s religious advisor Jim "the Gospel is all about wealth redistribution" Wallis?  No, they generally just oppose religious views that they disagree with, which demonstrates that their tactics are more about bullying than principles. 

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Book Review: The Making of an Atheist 

Philosopher James Spiegel has written a clear, biblically-informed, philosophically-astute and well-documented account of the ultimate origins of atheism. Unbelief, he argues, is not attributable to a lack of evidence for God. Rather, the problem is fixed in human rebellion against God himself, just as Paul explained in the first chapter of Romans. This book provides a much needed dimension of analysis in light of all the press received in the past few years by “new atheists” such as Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, and Sam Harris.

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Sir Paul McCartney, Deep as a Thimble — A few more factoids about how ridiculous Paul McCartney’s “library” dig at President Bush was. 

Let’s take a look at just a few of Obama’s greatest hits on Britain since taking office:

  • Feb. 2009: Much to the Brits dismay and embarrassment Obama summarily rejected the famous bust of Winston Churchill that sat in the Oval Office since 2001
  • March 2009: Obama canceled a traditional press conference with the British Prime Minister without explanation then, thoughtlessly gave a pack of U.S. DVD movies to the man as a diplomatic gift — Not only is the British PM nearly blind but the movies were Region 1 discs that cannot play on a British DVD machine
  • March 2009: Obama’s administration refused to return repeated phone calls from the British government to discuss policy
  • April 2009: Obama and his wife broke protocol by touching the Queen of England in a state visit
  • May 2009: Obama did not include the Queen in his D-Day memorial plans as is traditional
  • And in the worst slap yet, April 2010: Obama abandoned the British as they re-asserted sovereignty over the Falkland Islands

So what has Barack Obama done to deserve the appreciation of a Brit, anyway?

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This is funny, true and a great parody.  Watch it.

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The face of the mainstream media and anti-Semitism.  Seriously, she doesn’t even realize how outlandish her statements are.  Her apology wa
s meaningless, as it was the “I totally meant it but am sorry people were offended” type.  But her reporting was totally unbiased, eh?  Glad she’s gone.  Wish we could get rid of the rest.

 

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Bible

Do NOT teach this Bible verse to your children

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If you do, they won’t let you forget it:

Eph 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. NIV

My youngest daughter loves to quote the highlighted part to me (“You’re exasperating me”). 

All kidding aside, that verse has important commandments.  There is a proper way to treat children such that you don’t lead them to anger.  That doesn’t mean never making them unhappy, of course. 

We must discipline and guide our children but not crush their spirits.  And we must live consistently with our professed beliefs.  We’ll all slip at times, but consistently acting one way at church and another at home will lead our kids into cynicism and away from faith.  Do your children see you acting one way at church and another outside it?

And you also must  bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.  How are you doing to do that if you don’t know what the instruction of the Lord is?  How do you learn the instruction of the Lord?  In the Bible, of course.  If you aren’t studying God’s word how can you possibly teach it to your children?

It is our jobs to teach our children about Jesus and his message.  Sunday School classes and youth groups have a role but not the primary one. 

Some other translations of this verse:

Eph 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.  ESV & NASB

Eph 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. NLT

Eph 6:4 And fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. HCSB

Bible

God’s view of marriage and parenting

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The last post talked about religion in the public square.  This one is for those within the church.  Non-believers are welcome to comment, but please stay on topic.

As I addressed in Problems with pro-gay theology, there are many false teachers and/or confused people in the church who hold one or more of the following erroneous beliefs:

  • The Bible is either not the Word of God, or most parts of it aren’t.  This view claims that we can ignore the prohibitions against homosexual behavior because they were written by homophobic Jews.
  • The Bible is the Word of God, but it doesn’t really say homosexual behavior is wrong.  This view holds that people just aren’t reading the Bible properly, and that God’s Word is actually affirming of gay relationships.
  • The Bible is the Word of God and does clearly and emphatically describes gay behavior as sinful.  However, the Holy Spirit has given additional revelations such that this behavior is now acceptable.  This view holds that God has changed his mind on this moral issue and not only is it now acceptable, but it is sinful if you don’t affirm this behavior and same-sex relationships. 

    • But as I’ve mentioned many time, the Bible couldn’t be more clear:

    1. 100% of the verses addressing homosexual behavior denounce it as sin in the clearest and strongest possible terms.
    2. 100% of the verses referencing God’s ideal for marriage involve one man and one woman.
    3. 100% of the verses referencing parenting involve moms and dads with unique roles (or at least a set of male and female parents guiding the children).
    4. 0% of 31,173 Bible verses refer to homosexual behavior in a positive or even benign way or even hint at the acceptability of homosexual unions.

    Item 1 gets talked about the most, but I encourage people to search for the passages that relate to items 2 and 3 and then honestly ask themselves if they think the Bible even hints at oxymoronic “same sex unions” as being part of God’s plan.  I was reading this passage yesterday and this idea really stood out:

    1 Corinthians 7:1-10 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion. To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband.

    There is not even a hint that God has any plan for marriage other than one man and one woman.  Really, read the whole book and see.  I find the arguments from silence (i.e., “But the Bible never specifically says “same sex marriage” or gay parenting is wrong”) to be ridiculous and a sure sign that you are talking to person who is deceived and/or a deceiver. 

    P.S. If a professing Christian wants to claim that Paul was backwards or confused, then I offer this:

    • Paul was a really cerebral guy.  Read all his letters and see.
    • You should know that the Bible was inspired by the Holy Spirit.
    • Are you claiming that Paul was wrong and you are not and that I should trust your revelation over his?  I’m skeptical of that.
    Favorites, Sexuality

    “Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die.”

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    Hi — thanks for visiting!  If you like you can get these posts delivered to your email.  Just go to the main page of the blog and click “Follow Blog via Email” at the upper right hand corner.  

    —–

    The title is a memorable line from the movie Mean Girls, where the gym coach is teaching sex education (see the video below).  Whether by design or not, it demonstrated the ineffectiveness of both extremes of teaching kids about an extremely important topic.

    Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die.  Don’t have sex in the missionary position, don’t have sex standing up . . . Just don’t do it, promise?  OK, everybody take some rubbers.

    I like how it skewered both ends of the spectrum.  Repeating the Nike hybrid of  Just (Don’t) Do It won’t be effective without some guidelines on avoiding temptation and more, and passing out condoms like that is an implicit and explicit message that you expect kids to have sex outside of marriage (in addition to giving them a false sense of security).

    Of course I endorse chastity and the abstinence of any sex acts outside of marriage as the ideal for everyone.  It is the only proven way to avoid pregnancy, disease, and emotional damage (and, if you are one of those religious types, the only way to obey God).

    Ephesians 5:3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.

    They should also emphasize the most recent statistics demonstrating that those who finish high school and don’t have sex outside of marriage are extremely unlikely to end up poor, whereas if you do the opposite you are very likely to be poor.

    They should teach girls the lines that guys often use and how to respond to them, for example:

    • Male: If you loved me you’d have sex with me.
    • Female: If you loved me you wouldn’t pressure me to have sex with you.

    They should teach guys the lines girls use as well.  I know of one young man whose girlfriend recently broke up with him because he wouldn’t have sex with her.

    But the abstinence / chastity message should include simple but effective ways to avoid temptation.  Too many people have good intentions but put themselves in situations that inevitably lead to compromise.

    They should also coach you on how much your actions regarding sex are influenced by:

    • What you view
    • What you think about
    • Who you spend alone time with

    Contrary to stereotypes, I have no issue with schools teaching a balanced sex education program, provided it is thorough and fact-based.  Birth control options are real and it is acceptable to discuss them, provided the whole story is told and the schools don’t distribute the condoms or other birth control themselves and don’t facilitate the abortion process.

    For example, truly comprehensive sex education should teach the following regarding birth control pills:

    • They are X% effective at preventing pregnancies (but the data must be given for different demographic groups, because discipline and effectiveness tends to be lower for younger and poorer women).
    • They offer zero protection against STDs
    • They offer zero protection against emotional issues
    • There are possible side effects

    More considerations and possible elements of a truly comprehensive sex education program:

    • Surveys demonstrate that married couples have the most satisfying sex lives.
    • It is absolutely ridiculous for schools to dispense birth control.  It sends the implicit and explicit message that you expect kids to have sex and that the adults say you should use birth control.  Guess which message they will listen to and which one they will ignore?
    • Hey parents, how about supervising your kids?  Giving kids unrestricted time alone with the opposite sex is virtually guaranteed to turn out badly.
    • Teach the truth about the “hookup” culture, where kids barely know each other and have sex.  Girls participating in “hookups” are basically acting like free prostitutes.  They have all the risks of pregnancy, disease, crushed self esteem, etc., but they aren’t making any money!  Somehow they convinced themselves that they are proving their equality by acting like guys do.  And of course there is the associated drug and alcohol abuse required to numb their minds to what they are doing.  Sad.
    • How Sex is Like Duct Tape (great illustration about chemicals, bonding and the pain of out-of-wedlock sex)

    And of course, Christians can teach their children about God’s plan for sex and how great it is when used as designed.

    The primary problem isn’t what one class teaches in one part of its curriculum in high school.  Whether  you use the falsely titled “comprehensive” Planned Parenthood type curriculum or that of the abstinence groups, the whole thing is doomed to fail if kids aren’t supervised, aren’t equipped to say no, aren’t given support by parents and just wallow in the sewer of our sex-obsessed culture. 

    When I pointed out problems of sex ed on one post I got this answer in reply:

    The problem is that people screw.

    My reply to him:

    How Zen-like ;-).

    Yes, and people steal.  And lie.  And don’t study in school.  And do drugs.  And drink alcohol and drive.

    So do we give up educating them that abstaining from these and other behaviors would be wise?

    Do we let them escape from consequences when they do the behaviors?

    Do we just focus on making is safer to do these things?  “If you are going to drink and drive, be sure to have an air bag in the car.”

    Fortunately, one commenter saw the light:

    I think Neil’s point was that no matter the sex ed, the rest of culture undoes it.

    That sums it up nicely.

    Update: A couple links from Luke with helpful statistics.  Leave more in the comments section if you’ve got ’em.

    Christian worldview, Parenting

    Mmmmm . . . PIES

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    pie.jpgOK, not those kinds of pies.  This is what I call the parenting PIES.  I have found that most of the areas we want our kids to mature in fit into this handy acrostic:

    P – Physical – Our bodies were made to last a lifetime.  Do something physical – anything!  We figured our girls would try all sorts of things, but they quickly gravitated to ballet.  That was fine with us.  As long as they are doing something on a regular basis we’re happy.  I hope they keep up a fitness lifestyle their whole lives, even if it is just walking.

    I – Intellectual– This category is often overdone.  It is certainly important, but getting a 3.5 GPA instead of a 3.3 probably won’t have a radical impact on your success in life.  If kids are intrinsically motivated then you don’t need to push them about grades.  Other kids will need more coaching and motivation.

    E – Emotional– Based on what I’ve read and experienced, people with higher EQs (“emotional quotients”) often do better than people with high IQs.  Emotional maturity helps people avoid all kinds of problems in life.  I’ve seen many people who were the smartest ones in the room, but they couldn’t relate to people well or lead them. 

    S – Spiritual – This is the most important and most often neglected. Eternity is a mighty long time.  Being a success at life is all about being wise, and wisdom comes from God.  If you haven’t read Proverbs this would be a good day to start!

    If the pieces of the pie are imbalanced then problems occur.  You can be really smart and really athletic, but if you are emotionally and spiritually immature then you will suffer for it.

    Parenting

    Parenting 101 & the Prison Psychiatrist’s Couch

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    As we prepare to move our oldest off to a ballet company and to college, I thought about one of my first posts and present it here with a few updates. 

    Here is my basic parenting philosophy: If I make any mistakes my kids can always work them out later on the prison psychiatrist’s couch.

    Seriously, I highly recommend three books for every parent:

    1. The Bible – News flash: The God who created the universe and everything in it had some good advice on parenting. Shocking! I thank God that I got serious about my faith around the time my kids were born. It has made me a much better (though still quite imperfect) parent.

    2. Parenting with Love and Logic – Great practical tips on letting your kids learn by natural and logical consequences. This has made our parenting easier and better.  Of course you should protect your kids in age appropriate ways from dangerous situations.  But too many parents spare their kids any consequences such that they don’t learn responsibility.

    3. The 5 Love Languages – Learn your kids’ preferences for giving and receiving love. Works wonders for spouses, too! It isn’t psycho-babble. It is an easy read that is full of practical advice on relationships. Everyone I know who has read this got a lot out of it. Like many successful books, this one has a special edition for any subcategory you can imagine – teens, kids, German Shepherds, etc. But the original is a good one-size-fits-all, so when in doubt stick with that.  Most parents love their kids, but this book gave good advice on being more intentional and effective about showing it.

    When in doubt, express love in all these ways: Quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service and gifts.

    It also contains some truly important advice on not marrying too quickly, because we can all put on a good act for a short period of time when we are in courting mode.

    —

    To state the obvious, pray for your kids.  We did this regularly and specifically most of the time — for wisdom, safety, character qualities, potential spouses, etc., and especially that they will come to know Jesus in an authentic and meaningful way.

    Being a parent is the most important job you’ll ever have.