Tag Archives: medical

“If you like this, you’ll love Obamacare!”

The title is what I should have announced to the crowd as I left the Department of Motor Vehicles when getting my licensed renewed (we have to do that in person every few years). As you might expect, the lines were very long (2+ hour wait for a very simple process) and there wasn’t enough parking or seats.

And keep in mind that while most businesses have to work hard to predict how many customers will come in on a given day, the DMV has it pretty easy. What could be more predictable than renewals? And these are the same government organizations that charge you extra to pay online, even though that saves time, money and fossil fuels for all involved.

So the question for anyone in favor of Obamacare is, “What makes you think that your healthcare service will improve?” There will be no incentives for them to perform any better. Who cares if you don’t like your service? Where else will you go? And it won’t just be your time, it will be your health. They’ll give you what they want to, when they want to, and any complaints you have will be far removed from anyone with the power to do anything about it.

And if you don’t know that Obamacare will necessarily lead to “death panels” and forced abortions (“either abort or pay for 100% of the costs yourselves, in cash”) then you don’t know how these people work.

Friendly tip for the guy wearing the “Drunk as sh!t” t-shirt: Maybe you should pick out something else when you are coming to get your license.

Dedicated to sarcastic people. You know who you are.

According to Australian scientists, sarcasm can help diagnose dementia.  Apparently those under 65 suffering from a common form of dementia cannot detect when someone is being sarcastic.

So for those of you who heart sarcasm or insist that you have the spiritual gift of sarcasm, you now have an easy answer when people get irritated at you: Just tell them you were doing a dementia screen and that you’ll be performing one again real soon.  They should be relieved and grateful at the results of their free mental health check up.  Look at you, what an altruistic public servant! 

As Homer Simpson would say, “In case you couldn’t tell, I was being sarcastic.” 

Source: Birmingham’s City Paper (I’m hanging out in Alabama today as my daughter is auditioning for their ballet tomorrow).

I’m not a doctor, but I play one on my blog

spleenCountless bloggers have been amused by odd search engine queries that lead people to their sites.  My personal favorite is that when seeking information about spleens people sometimes end up at my Bad Spleen Joke of the Day post.

But what was most interesting is that a website called RightHealth had an informational page about spleens that linked to my site. 

While they may want to screen their links a bit more, I am glad that my blog can aid in the advancement of medicine.