One of the things I love about my church is that they are actually doing something about divorce. One member was recently removed from the church for seeking an un-biblical divorce. It was done in a loving, clear, Matthew 18 style and sent a great message to the church. Unfortunately, too many churches are silent on “frivorce*” as that would impact donations. But that does an injustice to the aggrieved partner, to the children and to society at large. I guarantee you that others in our church will think twice about such divorces, because they know there will be church discipline.
Via The first redefinition of marriage was much worse for children than same-sex marriage:
No-fault divorce is worse than same-sex marriage, and there is almost no support among Christians for taking it on, although my view is that both no-fault divorce and same-sex marriage need to be repealed. I don’t know how we are going to fix this unless Christians start to get serious about marrying well, and for the long-term. But more is needed – we have to make it harder for people to get divorced, and harder for people to get money from the government just for having children outside of marriage. We have to shame behaviors that harm children, and shrink government so that men become more indispensable, and staying married becomes more important to women. (over two-thirds of divorces are initiated by women)
And (in response to a comment below) we should be showing young people the benefits of getting married and staying married – not just for children, but for society as a whole. That’s especially true for young Christians in church – in my experience, the men often don’t see marriage as an exciting enterprise that could make a difference for Christ, and the women often think of marriage as something boring to put off for as long as possible. I think one of the great ways of evangelizing the culture is showing them a romantic marriage, a home that is warm and welcoming, and happy, healthy children who are respectful and hard-working.
You can read more in this article about no-fault divorce by Dr. Stephen Baskerville. (The Baskerville that Mohler mentioned)
He covers 5 myths about no-fault divorce:
No-fault divorce permitted divorce by mutual consent, thus making divorce less acrimonious
We cannot force people to remain married and should not try
No-fault divorce has led men to abandon their wives and children
When couples cannot agree or cooperate about matters like how the children should be raised, a judge must decide according to “the best interest of the child”
Divorce must be made easy because of domestic violence
*frivolous (i.e., un-biblical) divorces
2 thoughts on “Churches are too silent on un-biblical divorces”
I agree wholeheartedly with your church’s stand on the divorce thing. Jesus told us we shouldn’t get divorced. It is, unfortunately, all too common; but, should it be the government’s job to force people to stay married? I thought you were not a Big Government guy, but you seem to want to legislate the stuff you are passionate about, like same sex marriage and divorce.
Is it just that you’re Big Government when you want the government to support your personal views, and small government when you don’t? Seems a little hypocritical, at best.
“Is it just that you’re Big Government when you want the government to support your personal views, and small government when you don’t? Seems a little hypocritical, at best.”
Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt :-).
I’m a “the gov’t should do what it was chartered to do” kind of guy.
And you missed the part about how the gov’t is much more involved in the divorce business when the amount increases than when they “force” people to stay married (a better way to characterize it would be to require people to live up to their contractual obligations if the other party hasn’t broken the covenant).
Do you not think the gov’t has any role in adjudicating contracts to ensure that their terms are met?
That said, I’m glad you appreciate my church’s stance. I think if more churches did this it would really benefit society.
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