Eons Of Darwinian Evolution Somehow Produce Mitch – fun from The Onion.

Despite initial efforts to understand how the Albuquerque native came into being, one researcher told reporters that even a modification of Darwinian theory might be insufficient to account for Mitch.

“I know this is controversial, but we have to consider the possibility that Darwin was wrong, ” said Victor Siles, a geneticist at the University of California–Berkeley. “Nothing we currently know about DNA, no fully mapped genome, can account for the presence of someone whose apartment smells that much like Chef Boyardee.”

Creationists, meanwhile, have been surprisingly muted in their celebration of a man whose existence would seem to disprove so much of evolutionary theory.

“It’s great that Mitch has been so disruptive to the evolutionist camp,” Jim Moore of the Colorado Springs–based Genesis Ministries said. “But quite honestly, there’s no way we can explain him in terms of a perfect or loving God, either.”

“We’re just going to sit this one out,” Moore added.

If you have an iPhone that can upgrade to the new operating system (iOS 4) I highly recommend it.  It downloaded quickly.  The unified inbox alone will save me lots of time, as now I don’t need to use so many taps to get from one box to the next.  Editing music playlists is handy.  Not sure how much the multi-tasking will impact me.  The folders feature for similar apps will be useful.

Note: you need to upgrade to iTunes 9.2 first.

Terrific list of guidelines from Randy Alcorn for sexual purity.

Free Condoms in Public Elementary School – really bad on multiple levels.  Encouraging kids to have sex and deliberately leaving their parents out of the discussion.  Another reason to home school: Protect your kids from these freaks.

These days public schools don’t pay much attention to the tired old topics of yesteryear — reading, writing, arithmetic, etc. Now the emphasis is on learning fun stuff, like sexual intercourse and disregarding the wishes of parents: A New England school district has approved a measure that will provide free condoms to elementary school students and direct teachers not to comply with parental wishes to the contrary.

Obama to AZ Sen Kyl in Private Meeting “Problem is…if we secure the border, then you all won’t have any reason to support ‘comprehensive immigration reform.’” – Obama says he’s lying.  I’ll spring for the cost of polygraphs and put my money on Kyl.

Gary and Tony have a baby — CNN helps feed the narcissism and more child sacrifice.  Sad.  Note how CNN has a whole section devoted to sexual perversions, as if it is a category akin to Sport or Weather.

Serious persecution of Christians in Nigeria — Muslims attacking Christians — “Beyond anything I have ever seen.”

Today we were able to see numerous patients at several hospitals. There were fewer gunshots and far more machete and knife wounds than I have seen in the past in northern Nigeria. It looks to me like the Muslims had sharpened their weapons before the attack, because the wounds on these folks were significantly deeper and more destructive than any of those I saw in January when Muslims attacked Christians in Jos. The epitome was a 4-year-old little girl whose left arm was slashed and amputated above the elbow.

The Lakers beating the Celtics = fantastic.  Beating them in 7 games?  Extra fantastic.  Not as good as 1985, but a nice 2nd place.

Loved Ron Artest’s interviews.  None of that silly “giving 110%” blather from this guy.  It was great to see him come through like that.  He was so cool the whole game.

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0 thoughts on “Roundup”

  1. I can’t find the exact quote, but Emo Philips did a routine once about stopping a man who looked like a horse from committing suicide.

    During the conversation, Emo said something like, “Of course there’s a God. Do you think billions of years ago, germs swimming around in some primordial ooze would someday have had the sense of humor to combine and make you look like that?”


  2. Yeah, I always cheer for the team whose best player is a rapist. Not.

    Onion article is hysterical. ❤ it!


    1. Conservative talk radio guru Michael Graham (WTKK, Boston), had a listener email thus:

      So this morning I heard that Provincetown is going to give out condoms to kids as young as kindergartners, while McDonald’s is being bashed for giving out toys with their Happy Meals.

      …Can’t we solve two problems at once by simply have McDonalds give out condoms with Happy Meals? That should make everyone on the left very happy!”

      North Reading

      Thought you would enjoy.


  3. In ELEMENTARY SCHOOL???? Dude. Thanks for the heads-up. I still have three in a (New England) elementary school. The oldest has a year left in middle school, where I’m sure things are much more normal. (Not). Yipes.


  4. Great find of that Artest interview. I always think of him as a punk, but that interview was a good one.

    As to Roxeanne’s comment, I’m only concerned with what players do on the court or the field. Their personal lives don’t much interest me (beyond those rare tales of truly good human beings). Athletes are way over-hyped and expectations for them are a bit too high as well. The rest of us can speculate all we want, but if a player is playing, as opposed to doing time for convictions, then I’ll have to assume that at worst, the accuser had no case, and at best, the player was an idiot for involving himself with someone who would accuse him of some vile crime.

    All in all, I’m not going to let their personal lives interfere with my entertainment. For that ‘s all they are to me. I have no personal stake in their personal misadventures.


      1. Yes he is as I acknowledged at the top. But, he claims to be working on it. I hope he succeeds. Whether he does or not will have no direct impact on me short of what happens when I’m watching a game he is in or should be in.


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